I'm fucked. In a bad way. Sigh.

I'm not doing as well as I should be on placements.

I don't know why. Ok, so maybe I AM a little distracted (damn me and my obsessive-compulsive love!). But I don't think it would affect me this much. Also my self-confidence have taken two very hard blows when I see how advanced Tee and Kay are. I know I should be at that level but my lazyness/stupidity is stopping me. Either that, or I actually do know my stuff but I have some problems verbally communicating them. My grasp of English has deteriorated so badly that sometimes I find it hard to even think of the simplest words when explaining things to my supervisor.

And my brain has the speed of a fucking sloth. Good god, to my supervisors I must be like Osaka from Azumanga Daioh. Always in a daze, slow and dreamy. WTF this is not how I want to potray myself. WHY AM I LIKE THAT?!!?!?!?!?!!??!!

Oh and I was sick as shit last week too. Which made me lose out 1 week to prove myself to my supervisors. I had a chest infection. And apparently a UTI (but I doubt it was coz I didn't feel any painful symptoms apart from the fact i was pissing BLOOD), but it was most likely one or both of my kidneys deciding to got batshit on me. So two infections, massive migraines and high fevers, coupled with throwing up. With only Panadol to soothe my pains. I wasn't a happy chappy for a few days.

So now I have 3 weeks to get my game on. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. The good thing is I have given up playing Quarantine and FB games. The bad thing is I have taken cyberstalking-obsessing over a certain hot dude. THIS MUST STOP NAO!!

3 weeks. 3 FUCKING WEEKS. I should probably pray a little more and hope for some divine intervention. I feel my life is a fucking mess (just like my room!) and I need to get things together. Big Boss of the Universe, a little help please? I need a boost from the pits here :(

Mimpi Kahwin...

Yup. The title says it all. Not in THAT context (you perv!), but I've literally been daydreaming about getting married. *headdesk, facedesk and various other hard objects to the head area*

Maybe its the Tamworth air getting to me. Maybe its too much alcohol vapours from the Aqium hand rubs. Anyhoos in my dreams and subconcious daydreams, I see myself getting married to you. Ahh, being a Mrs van *Censored*. Thinking of lovey-dovey phrases in Dutch. Imagining how our children would look like. OMG I want a baby! (Shaddup biological time clock! Shaddup I say, damn hormones!)

And then reality hits and I think WTF am I thinking??!?? The last time I went around calling myself someone's wife was back in Form 2 in high school! And even then at least the dude knew who I was, I'd yell "Hi" to him everyday, there was some interaction between us at least!

With this one, all our interaction so far was a look shared at a dingy dim pub (not sure if he had the beer goggles going on), me adding him on Facebook, and liking one measly status of his. Har bloody har.

It must be the stress of clinicals. And the Tamworth air. If you excuse me now, I need to go eat Gouda cheese and practice my 'Ik hou van jou's.

Signs

Thank you, Big Boss of the Universe, for the sign. Co-incidence, or sign? Not sure. Either way, I didn't have any guts to do anything more than sneak peeks and smile to myself like a crazy fool.

Eye contact? Check. Brushing up against you? Check.

Smile at you? Say something? *pokes belly region* Lots of fats, lack of guts.

Please give me another sign, then I will know its not a coincidence, and then I will do something about it and not let it go to waste!!

Because he really is too damn gorgeous!!

My "love" is heavy

I want to get know you
I want to hear what your voice sounds like
Your laughter… Your angry (or drunken!) roars… Your moans of pleasure
I want to know what you enjoy doing, eating, listening to…
I want to know where you live (actually I do already), where you sleep, whom you’re sleeping with…
I want to know what your body looks like underneath those clothes… what you feel like
I want to do very, very naughty things to that body…
I want to know if you are a nice guy (you look like one!), or a douchebag
I want to know if I can still judge people based on looks
I want to know exactly how tall you are, you’re a giant by the way.
I want to know if you like girls, or guys
I want to say your name, but not in my sleep or when I’m alone

There are many things I want to do, but I cannot. Because I haven’t been given a sign (c'mon, Big Guy out there in the Universe, throw me a bone!)  to do so, I feel all my efforts will be futile. As such, I can only watch you from a distance, all my wants will remain just that. Want so badly. The Beatles had it right, its kinda driving me mad.

The return of the budgie smuggler...

On a totally random note, Google has told me that Speedos (or budgie smugglers as they are affectionately called Down Under) are making a comeback.

Hurrah!

This was something that quizzed me as odd as I always though kwei-lo's are supposed to be less conservative regarding beachwear. Like hello, seen all the skimpy bikinis on the girls on the beach regardless of how fat they are?? So I was quite puzzled as to why the guys on the other hand wore board-shorts. My first impression was "maybe it's more suitable for surfing". But I noticed its a staple for non-surfers as well. And for those who DID wear Speedos, they mostly belonged to the older generation. And people would snicker derisively behind their backs.

Ironically, Speedo's are an Aussie invention.

As a child, I have always seen my dad in Speedo's whenever we go to the beach or to the pool. Mind you he has a huge pot-belly, so I wouldnt say he looked great in it. Then again EVERYONE wore Speedos. All my uncles did, regardless of paunch or no paunch. So imagine my suprise (and slight dissapointment, LOL) when all them fit aussie boys run around the beach wearing things that covered too much skin.

UNFAIR!

Bring back Speedo's. It needs to be the swim gear du jour for Aussie blokes once again! Down with the board shorts unless you need it to surf (in which case, use a wetsuit, no?)!!

Because even boardshorts have taken over Malaysia. I doubt many M'sians wear them swim briefs anymore. Is Europe the last continent standing????? (Judging by what the Dutch and German boys are wearing to the beach here in Newcastle, I think not. They might even bring back this nonsensical board shorts idea back home, heaven forbid!)

Leaky faucets

This week I cried twice, thanks to anime and manga.

Incident 1:

Reading Naruto Shippuden. Without giving away too much *spoiler spoiler!*, it had strong family and death themes, and by the end of Chapter 504 I was bawling my eyes out.

Incident 2:

Then I started watching Mainichi Kaa-san (or Kaasan - Mom's Life as its called on Crunchyroll), and there was an episode where a little girl asks her grandpa "Grandpa, when I become a big girl, are you going to die?" and then when her Grandpa struggles to find an answer she says "Don't die! Don't die!" while clinging on to him.

He doesn't die till much later, but he tells everyone who will listen about that incident and what a sweet caring granddaughter he has. Right until his deathbed when the girl (now a teen) visits him, he tells her "did you know, my granddaughter once told me... " and he never finished the sentence.

Cue the burst pipes. Heck I'm tearing a little as I type this. I think because it makes me think of the phonecall I had with my granny before leaving to Australia early this year. I couldn;t say goodbye. I could only cry silently on the phone and tell her that I would miss her alot, thats why I was crying. But the truth is, I was afraid she would pass away whilst I'm here and I would never ever get a chance to say a final goodbye. I think somehow she knew, because she told me to study hard and that "Mah Mah is not going anywhere. I will see you when you come back at the end of the year".

Okay. I need to go wipe my tears and blow my nose now.

Overhaul

I suddenly feel a need to reinvent myself.

Maybe not now, as we all know the process of overhauling can be very costly. But in the near future. Read: at least a year after my first paycheck.

But whats on my list? So far its:

1. Give up something. I'm not sure what though. Meat? Sex (not like there is any to give up HAHA, but perhaps doujinshis and other various forms of pseudo-porn)? Coffee and *gasp* tea?? CHOCOLATE??!!?? FRIED FOODS/FAST FOOD (including McDonalds, Burger King, KFC and doner kebabs)??!!?? FACEBOOK?!????

The more important question though, is how long? Hmmm....

2. Stop drinking alcohol. Maybe just a little bit of *expensive* wine? NO. Well. Maybe on special occasions. But only special occasions! Thining about it I hardly drink anyway, but i think the main focus is on how to say NO to drinking it when being pressured to.

3. New wardrobe. To match the new me of course! Goodbye T-shirts with cutesy prints on them that scream "teenager" and "otaku". Hello proper working adult clothes, possibly with a touch of 60's retro flair and elegance of Blair Waldorf. And pretty lingerie. And a proper corset for crying out loud!

4. Something nourishing for the soul. Idk, could be religion, meditation, yoga, chicken soup?.

5. Take a dump at least once a day, at the very very least-est once every 2 days. Yah yah totally random, but I believe a happy colon means a happy mind and mood, leading to a happier you. Boost up the fruit and water intake, bebe!

6. Take any means to clear up my pimply face. Yes. If my shitty acne hasn't cleared up by then (gosh I'd be like, 24? 25? Who the heck has acne at that age??!!), take accutane, take birth control pills, take whatever, just clear it up!

7. Health first. Since I'd be around a quater of a century by then, I think its time to check that all bodily parts are working well. Full body check up dayo~!

8. I *heart* you Mommy and Daddy dearest. If I'm getting older, than the two folks are too. Without trying to sound over morbid, you won't know when the next racial riots occur back home. When the heart attack/stroke happens. When the car crashes and everyone perishes. When some mad burglar breaks in and kills everyone. There are so many scenarios, so many possibilities. So I think I should call my parents everyday (or Skype!) and make sure I tell them that I love them. Heck I don't have to wait till a year after my first paycheck to do this, I ought to do it starting from now!

9. Find a hobby. I need a more normal hobby. Normal meaning something that won't make me an even bigger otaku than I already am. Something befitting an elegant young lady. Tea ceremony? Flower arrangement? Any suggestions?

10. Reconnect with old friends. One can never have too many, especially good ones. 

The overall goal is to somewhat try and become a yamato nadeshiko, without being overtly submissive, having the confidence as well as being unique. Something like mashing up Joan Holloway and Peggy Olsen from Madmen with the classic Japanese housewife. There. Perfection.


What do YOU have on your overhaul list?

Blog death

Yeah. Once again it has finally hit. Basically nothing new since the last post.

I did finish and pass Clinical Placement, but only with a Pass grade. Nothing more to be expected from a 5 week stint though. Which reminds me, i shall have to email the supervisors to ask about wether i'm allowed to re-do that assessment at the end of my next 5 weeks as I would certainly be more competent then.

After that my life routine was:

1)Wake up.
2)Make something to eat. Most of the time I'm lazy, so its just 2 or 3 slices of plain toasted bread. This usually lasts me the whole day. No surprise why really.
3)Sit in front of the computer for hours on end till butt gets sore. Shift in seat to relieve soreness/numbness. Resume staring at computer.
4)Use the toilet/ take a shower and mantain hygiene. I may be lazy but not THAT lazy.
5)Resume position in front of computer till 4am in the morning.
6)Crawl into bed when the first light creeps in between the blinds.

Rinse and repeat for the next 2 weeks. Then off to Melbourne for 3 weeks of quality time with the family.

In Melbourne, I ate lots of dim sum, hung out with family and cousins, toboganned down a snow-icy slope, watched porn for free (followed by, horrendously, a woman giving birth. You get the full view of her hoo-hah with the baby's head popping out. Squirmed in the chair a little and decide never to have children. Ever.) at a museum and drank waaaaay too much (single origin! :D)coffee for my own good. In rankings for a skinny mocha:

1. Ethiopian Yirgacheffe @ Jasper's, Fitzroy
2. Ethiopian Nekisse Microlot@ Brother Baba Budan
3. Guatemalen something something @ Brother Baba Budan
4. Non single origin, Genovese blend @ MART 130
5. Sumatran (or was it Sulawesei??) @ Brother Baba Budan AND S2 Blend @ Sensory Lab (Its a tie!! :D)
6. Kenyan M'bee @ Seven Seeds, Berkeley St; AND
7. (and it was so bad and oversweet that it burnt all the way down) House blend @ Brunetti's, Lygon St

Got back to Newcastle yesterday. Have resumed the same routine as before going to Melbourne. Only that I have been going out with some friends so less time spent in the chair.

Sadly, I found out that June is going off to Tasmania next week *sobsob*. One less friend in Newcastle. Boo. Oh well, time to pick myself up coz Foodservice placement starts next week!

2 weeks of madness, followed by a 3 week break, followed by 7 weeks of hell. Ah, I love my life *starts planning suicide*.

Sleeping with one person is sleeping with many...

Today was my first time in the HIV ward. Today is the first time I shook a HIV positive person's hand. Today I had the most physical contact with HIV infected people in my life.

Its shocking how all my patients today were male. And gay. Some of them were open about their illness (he was a lovely old man), others hid their problems away (his mom didn't know he was infected), others are depressed and suicidal that they are this way (he was sexually abused as a boy by his brother and hamsap old neighbour, became gay, had a partner who comitted suicide, another died in a tsunami, and to top it all off, his asshole of a new boyfriend drugged him, raped him while he was out and that's how he got infected. Because the guy lied about his sexual history and claimed he was clean). All were so very sick, one had eyes that were red like the demon's! It would have shocked me but thanks to watching the latest episode of House MD where the fella's eyeballs somewhat exploded with blood, i had been de-sensitised lol. Another was blind due to all the infections he suffered whilst his immune system was smashed from the HIV. Its all very sad.

Its even more ironic that yesterday's episode of Grey's Anatomy had a scenario back in the 70's where HIV was called GRID (gay related immune deficiency) and all the doctors acted like he had the plague, wouldn't even touch him or eneter his room. And here I was shaking their hands, ungloved. How the times have changed!

So moral of the story people, don't jump into bed without making sure the person is HIV free, and dont just take their word for it. See the actual paper for yourself. And always practice safer sex, just in case. And life doesn't have to end if you get infected. Its just not very nice.

Pervy Old Men

Pervy, hampsap old men. Everybody has one (tale to tell, that is).

And so I was on the train to Sydney, alone, snoozing. Then I felt the train stop at a station and got jolted awake. Old man enters, sit in the seat next to the seat opposite mine. Thank god my seat was a single, or esle he wouldve sat next to me and it would be torture. The seat opposite me was occupied by my luggage.

Anyhoo, at this point he seemed nice enough, I tried to move my luggage to give him more space and he was all "no no no, its ok its ok" and tells me to leace my luggage as it is. Then he makes some smal talk and along the conversation said that he was originally from Europe. So I asked which part of Europe he's from.

Biggest. Freaking. Mistake.

He says Hamburg, and I'm like ohhh Hamburg. *mutter* Wheres that *mutter*

And he sits up and then starts touching my leg (mid-thigh) and goes "Oh you wanna go to Hamburg? I have frequent flyer tickets, you wanna go to Hamburg with me???" *pats my leg, gives me this uber hamsap grandpa look*

Me: *polite-akward smile, nervous laughter* eh-heh-heh?
Inner Me: Imma break your fingers off old man!!!!! GRRRRRRR
Old man: Yes yes, I will get a double room for us and tell people how I am travelling with my neice... oh double room meaning 2 beds not a double bed of course, not that you would want to sleep with an old uncle like me.. *leers pervertedly again*
Me: Still politely smilling and more nervous fake laughter. Inner self is spazzing at the audacity of the old man. Uncle? UNCLE??!!! Who are you kidding gramps, you're old enough to be my great grandpa.
Old man: *i think he catches on to me being creeped out* Heheh. Yes, laugh is always good. *Pats my leg again*

Throughout the journey he kept asking me things like where I live, where I'm going to live in Sydney, where I work etc etc. being totally creepy. This is not how you talk to random strangers in the train. And then he pulls out his camera phone. And the fucker attempts to take a picture of me =_=|| . I stick my hand in front of the lens to stop him. He fiddles summore with the phone and tries to showoff/ pretend to be stupid aout not knowing how to use it to some random bogan teenagers. At this point I am glad that he's no longer talking to me and I stare pointedly out the window. I really really really wanna sleep, but I have to keep my guard up. Stupid old man. He then starts rambling on about computer problems and asks the kids if they know how to fix it. Again I am not sure if he is showing off by feigning ignorance and trying to impress me that he has money as he can afford snazzy cam phones ( "I have also another one" *pulls out yet another snazzy phone from pocket*) and shop on Ebay.

I am still staring pointedly out the window, occasionally looking out the corner of my eye to make sure he's not sneaking some pics of me. He does things to attract my attention like clapping his hands and making fun of another sleeping and loudly snoring passenger. I just politely smile at his antics and keep quiet. But my inner self wants to smash my head against the window repeatedly and wishes the train ride would end. Like, now.

He gets me really irritated by asking if I had a camera. I had earlier said I did not, my phone does not have one, and I lied about not having one at all. He insists its in my bag. I say i only have books in my bag. He insists again, saying he saw a long oblong case (those were my sunglasses). I get highly irritated and say its books, i pull out a book and show him. I nearly reach snapping point when he tried reaching out for my bag, i snatch it away and hug it protectively. He backs down and says "ok ok u dont have to show me".

My patience is wearing really thin now. I think i was one step away from my stop, about 10 to 15 minutes to go, when i decide I would put my luggage near the door so that I dont get obstructed by or obstruct other people when leaving coz its a mad rush usually. So I start with my heaviest piece of luggage. I get up and reach out for it. The old man tries to pull the bag away from me.

Old Man: No no no, sit down sit down, still 10 more minutes!!
Me: *Fighting for the peice of luggage, tugging it back* I. Have. To. Put. This. Near.The.Door.
Old Man: *Tug of war-ing with me* Sit.. Sit... plenty of time. *Tries to push me back into my seat*

My patience snaps. I pull myself to my very full height (it felt like i was puffing up) and say very loudly and sternly "NO. I am going to put this near the door!". I myself am surprised by the hardness and stern-ness of my voice. The "No" sounded really firm and eventhough I was not yelling it, it resonated throughout the cabin. And it sounded like it was full of loathing and contempt, something like Lord Voldemort would say in a cold calm voice and leave all his Death Eaters shaking with shit in their pants.

I must have really shocked him because his jaw just drops and he sinks back in his seat. Not such the demure, tiny, asian female he thinks I am. I grab my luggage and stomp off. I come back and grab my second luggage peice. I go back for my laptop, and he hands it to me trying to be nice again "your computer"..

I snatch it, say thanks in a frosty way, and walk towards the exit without turning back. He does not follow. The train pulls into the station. I breathe a sigh of deep relief and all the pent up anger and frustration is let out.

Ironically, what I had for lunch following that sleepless nightmare ride was sushi train. Lol. I was so happy at the end of my meal that i was swinging my legs in joy. I also found out that the best place to have a meal alone is at a sushi train or counter style dining. Just you, and the food. No need to stare at an empty seat accross the table and worry that some random stranger will occupy it. Unless creepy old men who sit next to you at the counter start making pervy small talk and being creepy old fucks in general. Then i suggest you empty your hot green tea (its cheaper than the cold ones and usually refill is free!) onto his lap and run for the exit.

Somewhere away from my usual place

Sorry for the lack of update. No its not blog-death. 

I have been away on placements for the last 3 weeks at Taree and Forster. The lack of innternet connection and privacy meant no blogging as I could be potentialy caught bitching about the very people I live with lol.

Buuut as one of them has gone home for the weekend, and the other out for a walk, this means I have the complete freedom to bitch and blah about EVERYTHING! Yahoo!

Oh, and if my post suddenly just gets cut off and ends weirdly, it just means one of my fellow roomies have returned and back to blog-death until the next time i get some alone time lol.

But so far its been okay. Taree is a small and picturesque little town. The workload has been light and relatively relaxing. I am being involved in establishing baseline data for a primary school before they get this awesome kitchen-garden thingy implemented. Their school is right next to the beach! Those lucky little buggers :D. But basically all I am doing now is data entry and report writing. So dry and blah!

I returned home to Newcastle for the past 2 weekends. The first was to renew library books and use internet lol. The second was to hang out with some friends. We went down to Sydney for the horse races and a night out. Horrid weather aside, along with money flying out of my pocket at an impressive speed, it was a pretty good weekend. I let a drunken guy crawl over me and put his face in my chest lol. He was drunk, I hate him with a passion, but because he was drunk and won't remember, I took advantage of him. Hah. Usually its the other way around no??

This weekend i did not go back to Newy, choosing instead to see what Taree has to offer on weekends. After a night of karaoke, and by karaoke i mean standing in front of the whole pub and singing into a mic. I sang "Take a chance" by ABBA. Cringe worthy. I believe i mumbled "sorry, sorry..." into the mic a few times. Then adrenaline kicked in and i managed to yell my way (in tune!) to the end. There is this beardy medical student with funky hair who came with us, and I thought he was cool in a beardy way coz we went out on Wednesday night and he seemed very nice. Anyways he looked like he was flirting with my friend. And he came back with us for a while. Then we made plans to have breakkie together.

So we had breakkie together. I felt like a lampost/third wheel the whoooole time. Not to mention, being the pig I am, I managed to wolf my breakfast down in half the time they took to finish their meals. Great. Plus trying not to stare are Dr Beardy. Which made me look like I was disinterested and bored. What an asshat I am.

I am trying not to be akward to my friend either. Because yes, I am a teensy weensy bit jealous, eventhough I have no logical reason to be jealous as a) he is not mine, and never was and b)there was no chance to begin with. 

However I am just frustrated that the guys I always like always end up going for someone around me but not me!!! Like I said before, is something wrong with me?? I don't mean it like "dude, you gotta like me. We should be, like, a couple. Actually lets get married right now. I want your babies.". I would just like to skip all the parts and jump to the process of "I want your babies". In fact just plain flirting is nice, because its suuuuuuuuuch a boost to your self confidence and ego! Ask me out for a movie dammit!

Logically speaking I only have another 1 and a half weeks to go here. So I don;t expect much. I know I am being emo-emo abit now, but give me a few days and I shall recover and be back to normal! :D

On another non-boy related note, my wisdom tooth is acting up again with a stupidly serious case of pericoronitis. This is the second time this year, and the worst because I have to frequently drain and press pus out of the gums which still cover the damn tooth. Yucks. Plus it hurts so much. And I am afraid of Ludwigs angina. Damn you, OSHC, for not covering the costs of dental!

And damn me, for being old enough to be getting teeth of wisdom! Wisdom my ass!

I'm not that girl..

Ahh... back from a night out. The first I've been to in a long loooooooooooooong time.

My temporary housemate invited me out, with the promise that I'll be meeting some of her fellow German peeps. So I met them, one Kenyan, one Iranian, and three other Germans (which i think included one of Middle-Eastern descent).

Whats hotter than a hot guy? A German hot guy, lol *gets slapped*

Well ok ok he's not HOT hot like chiselled euro-model-dude kind of hot (omg Stefan aka "GermanClarkKent" come baaaaack ;__;). He just looks annoyingly like that Dexter actor guy, and I like the Dexter actor guy, and so I kept staring at his face. Oh yeah not to mention weeks of social isolation meant that I ACTED LIKE A EFFING TOOL AROUND HIM. I can't believe the rubbish that flowed out of my mouth. OMG I want to crawl into a hole and die. But yes, I thought he was dishy.

Unfortunately hotness has a sort-of girlfriend. She was pretty hot too. More like lukewarm actually. But still, pretty. And mega nice, she smiled at me lots and let me steal a sip from her drink. I think she's trying to hit on him, but he's not reciprocating much?? DAMMIT WHY AM I SUCH A TOOL? I actually believe I may have had a chance to at least meraba-raba him in feigned drunkeness had I not cared so much about what other people think (heck i'll be gone in 3 days and barely anyone will remember me! :D)

Meh. No fate, no fate... =_=

Or maybe, no booze... no balls.

Hunter Valley Wine Tour

Last Friday I went on a tour with Linny to the Hunter Valley, NSW's wine country. It was only a few days ago yet it feels like weeks have gone by since I hugged her goodbye at Broadmeadow station (in fact, she's probably on her way back to Perth as I type!). Time goes by fast indeed.

The first vineyard we visited was Drayton's. That was my first time tasting Verdelho. I can't remember what I thought about it but apparently I seem to have scribbled "not bad!" next to it on the list of wines provided. Then they served a white wine named "Lily" which I thought was ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS. Sweet, like the Botrytis Semillons, but without that heavy sticky syrupy consistency. At 24$ a bottle, I kinda regretted not picking it up. Boo.

Next stop was McLeish Estate. It had an emblem with a cat(i think? or an ugly lion) on it, and an odd motto "Touch.Not.The.Cat.Bot.A.Glove". Beats me what it means. The wines were ok-ok only, but one thing that stood out was their Shiraz. I hate drinking Shiraz, at Drayton's I thought it tasted salty and spicy and hard to drink (excuse me if thats totally different to what Shiraz is supposed to taste like, I was sick so all aromas were lost on me. I could only taste sweet, salty, sour and bitter. :/) But the one served at McLeish was very drinkable.

At this point my head is hammering. Helloooo hangover. Apparently I'm not even red yet. The next stop we make is at the Smelly Cheese Factory. Sampled some cheese. Everyone else bought gelato while I make a date with the toilet bowl *hurl*. Caught my reflection in the mirror. Not a hint of red except my eyes, and my face was pale with a green tinge to it. Yikes. 

The third vineyard was Kevin Sobel's. I sat out at this one. Just spent more time in the toilet, emptying my stomach of all alcoholic contents and wishing my head would stop throbbing. I asked Linny how the wines were. She says there was one interesting red wine which tasted like a white wine and was sweet.

Next stop: Lunch, followed by McGuigan's. This time I felt much better after hurling so much, plus now there is some food in my stomach. So I decided to take only 2 small sips per sample (no matter how tasty Botrytis wines are!) and toss the rest. All was quite so-so. I bought a bottle of 2008 Noon Harvest Merlot for less than 18$, because it was nice and sweet and surprisingly refreshing served cold. And cheap too, lol. 

The last stop we made was the Golden Grape Estate. They served only liquers and port. Which was a dead shame coz i tossed most of it away. A little sakit hati to toss them especially when some of them were like 10 years old. And one 25 year old one, older than me ok! The finale waswhen all of us had to down a shot of Dragon's Breath together. Dragon's Breath is butterscotch schnapps with rosemary and a chili padi (bird's eye chilli) in the bottle. OMG liquid fire. All us ladies shouted out the pain when we were done. But me and Linny held our cool while the Swedish and Norwegian chicks were clamouring for the iced water.

Then we headed back to Newy. The end. Lol, I am only posting this so I can remember which wines to buy when I go back to the Valley for my placements. Plenty of time to buy.

Hoo-bloody-ray! (really!)

My period came last night. I have never been happier to see it before.

For the first time in years I started worrying when it didn't show up on time (10 days late!). Not that I've been engaging in any activities that would give me due reason to be worried =_=. (still as pure as the driven snow~~ if you don't count my polluted mind *cough*)

I just don't like it when the only thing about me that runs like clockwork doesn't run like clockwork anymore. Also makes me feel a little powerless because I used to have control over my periods back when I was on the Pill. Oh yeah, 3 periods a year. Awesome. Plus I always knew when it would start and when it would stop: which was whenever I wanted it to. Powerrrrrr....

Now I have to rely on my unreliable hormones. Speaking of hormones my face is like the moon again. Not enough acne to warrant starting the Pill again (oh, glowy glowy skin!) but bad enough to make me fret. When will my skin ever grow up??

Sydney and Sickie

Wow I am travelling alot these days! Back from Melbourne only to warm my bed for 2 nights in Newcastle before zooming off to Sydney for the weekend with Linny.

When I got there on Friday morning we met up and had lunch at an old time favourite, Dining Bar Musashi in Pitt St. Haven't been there for a long time ever since Din Tai Fung was discovered nyeheheh. Walked around the city abit, then it started raining. So we made our way across Hyde Park, paused to watch some angry old Italian/Greek men playing giant chess, passed a cathedral which I didn't even know existed and then we arrived at the Barracks Museum. Oh, we didn't really know how to pronounce barracks... was it beh-wrecks or bah-rahks like Obama? Lol.

Then we made our way to Balmain to Linny's cousins place. They've got a really nice place facing the waterfront. We got ready to go out and watch Wicked !!! Somehow I felt the cast was singing or speaking unnaturally fast, the only problem is I can't remember if its fast compared to the last time I watched it in Sydney or compared to the American Wicked OST found on Youtube. Nevertheless its always nice to watch Wicked. Fiyero was definitely kissing Elphaba alot more this time (and longer too!)!! O_O.

After the show we went across the street to Chat Thai and had dessert. Mango sticky rice pudding!! And yau char kwai with pandan custard. Mmmm...

On Saturday I took Linny to La Rennaisance cafe at the Rocks. We both had ham and cheese croissants (which i still say are the best i ever had!) and she had a rose macaron. We nommed it all down at the waterside, with the seagulls eyeing is hungrily. Yikes. After demolishing the food, we walked to the Observatory, bummed around a little, played with a large telescope and then we left. We made our way back down to the Rocks where they had markets and bazaar going on. Plenty of things to see and buy. We managed to see a guy hand blowing glass, and he made a glass slipperstilleto! Went back to Balmain, and Linney's cousin took us to dinner at Churrasco's in Coogee, which was a brazillian BBQ place, or a churrascaria. Hahah I am a pig I ate so much I nearly exploded. To the point where I could not stand up straight. Then we had to walk uphill to get to the car. And when we got into the car it started sliding backwards downhill a little!!!!! Too heavy lol.

On Sunday we went to Cabramatta. I have heard about the town on various foodblogs, its somewhat a mecca for all thing asian or Vietnamese. We got there around lunchtime, stepped out of the tarin station, and were greeted by a wafting aroma that could have only come from ASIA. Having no map or sense of direction, we just followed our noses and the masses of people to the main street and Cab. We could hear the ching-changs of a lion dance troupe which is surprising as the last day of Chinese New Year was way behind us. Nevertheless we went to kaypoh before finding a shop to eat. While walking around the main street food-hunting, you feel as though you're no longer in Australia. I felt like I was at home, walking around Petaling Street, or maybe some street in Thailand's Pra Tun Nam district. You'd have butchers and fishmonger shops with very un-vegetarian friendly displays right next to the clothes shop selling pasar-malam worthy clothes. Something you don't see at the local Aussie mall everyday. And the smells that mix!! Meaty rankness and the smell of dyed fabrics (and somewhere in the background, the faint smells of herbs and spices from the Pho noodles that beckon you to come and eat)! And the noise of the people yelling to sell their wares or trying the make themselves be heard over all the noise in fast Vietnamese or Cantonese.  An assault on the senses.

We found a Pho noodle shop at the end of the street and had some lovely Pho. The soup was yummy, yet very clear. Delicious. And I also learnt you should never leave iced Vietnamese coffee until the end of your meal because by then its a diluted watery drink that doesnt have a semblance to the awesome drink it is when it was first served. All that kau-ey goodness, all gone :(

After lunch we walked back down the street, Linny got a sugarcane drink (they add orange juice in their sugarcane juice!)  and I got some custard puffs. Shopped around a bit, got away with bargaining for a dress! Then we took the train back to Sydney because the shops close at 5. Somehow, thats the only Aussie thing about that place. Oh, and the free and clean public toilets too, haha. Back in Sydney we hung around home a bit before heading out for a late night supper at Mamak in Chinatown. While queuing up to get in I was oggling the boys in the window who were making the roti when who should tap my shoulder but Stuey. Fancy seeing him there. Anyways, we got in, and I got a standard roti chanai and it came with 2 curries and a small dollop of sambal. The sambal is so delicous! The dhal looked deceptively mild but it made me sweat! The curry was ok but I didnt finish it. Chicken satay was quite good too, but then again I hardly eat satay so I can't be a judge of that.

You do realise at this point I was supposed to be back in Newcastle lol. But no, Sydney was too good to give up.

On Monday we went to the Fish Markets in the morning. I had 1/2 a lobster mornay, an oyster mornay and an oyster kilpatrick, and a grilled scallop. I also got a box of cooked whitebait. Lin had a cold seafood platter that had some cooked prawns and a whole lobster. She also had the oysters mornay and kilpatrick and a grilled scallop. We got some fruit and we made our way to Darling Harbor. We walked the bridge that crosses the harbour and then crossed to Chinatown. Walked around the clothes shop abit, it seemed that the whole of Sydney was on sale sale sale. Bought some tea from Ten Ren teashop. Went and got some eggtarts and char siu soh  from Emperor Garden cafe to bring back for Lin's cousins for dessert :D.

Attempted to get some food at Adriano Zumbo cafe but FML when we got there the cafe was closed!!!! So we went to the shop instead to see what we could buy, and the only appealing things left were the macarons (the cakes were to funky for my tastebuds). Was prepared to buy some black sesame macarons when i saw a fly land on the macarons. Zap. Instantly my desire for anything in the shop dissapeared. So we made our minds up to try again tomorrow. Then we, the heroes that we are, decided to try walking back to the apartment using small "shortcuts". And so we ended up at the wrong side of Balmain, utterly lost and without an inkling of where we were. After calling for help and directions we finally made it back after an hour of walking around aimlessly.

When we got back, Mei was preparing a home cooked meal for us. I was having a mega sore throat signalling the start of a cold. It was really warm so we went for a dip in the pool and had a girly talk time while swimming about. Got back, had a shower, and enjoyed beef in bulgogi sauce, fried eggs, and stirfried choy sum with rice for dinner with my osmanthus green tea. Delicious! Then we had the desserts. Yum.

By Tuesday I am being forced to go back Newcastle. I seem to have forgetten about my need to go back and do work lol. We went to Balmain for breakkie at Adriano Zumbo cafe. Then we walked around the shops. Went back, packed and headed for the train station. Was a pig and was tempted to stay behiond for dinner at Miso @ World Square. The train left at 5.15 you see, but the restaurant opens at 5.30. So the restaurant wins. I had a tonkatsu and salmon sashimi set and Lin had an unagi bento. It was deliciousssssssssssssssss.

Got a 7.15 train back to Newy. Had to get off at Morrisset because of shitty trackwork. From there it was bus services to train stations. We got off at Broadmeadown at 10.20-ish. The bus was supposed to come at 10.28. By 10.50 no bus arrived, we were sitting on a crappy bench in a dinly lit street where the only other thing moving around was a stray cat. Creepy. So I cannot tahan anymore and called a friend to pick us up. Got home. Went to bed.

So this morning I am here, nose rosak and all, typing this. OMG I wanna go back to Sydney! I just hope Linny isn't already thinking that as she sits on my bed reading my Healthy Food mag :D

Me!bourne

Yay I'm back from 2 happy happy weeks in Melbourne. Mainly coz I got to spend some time with the family :)

First we had reunion dinner on Chinese New Year's eve at Chinatown. There were celebrations there with lion dances at nearly every turn and firecrackers going off about every 10 minutes. Our dinner was at Kum Den Cantonese Restaurant, tucked inconspicuosly in a narrow alleyway in Chinatown. Yeah, my mom picked it because it said "Cantonese" (with us being Canto and all). But I think also because there werent any Hainanese restaurants around (her being one) lol.

Then the next day we had italian at Lygon Street. OMG I AM SO MAD I WANT TO HURT SOMEONE! Lies! Lies! Lies! Whoever said there is great Italian food at Lygon is lying! The experiences I had there was enough to put me off eating Italian on Lygon forever (sadly, this means missing out on the good Italian restaurants, if any =_=)

The first experience was after I got bullied into a restaurant by a bald Italian(?)  man. Basically some old bald dude with a heavy Italian accent which after a while i realised could most likely be put on. Oh and nearly every restaurant on Lygon has some bully outside their restaurant trying to harrass you into their restaurant while you're trying very hard to decide between the dozens and dozens of Italian restaurants which make up Lygon Street. So yeah. It had the word "Spagheteria" in its name so I thought they probably make decent pasta. Heck, which Italian restaurant doesnt? And they had Spaghetti alla Vongole on the menu! I was dancing in my seat. HAH! Big effing dissapointment. First the pasta was completeyl tasteless, they didnt use ANY salt. And I couldnt taste any hint of wine at all! And the second bit! Omg i want to cry ok. They completely chargrilled my clams into oblivion. I was so lookign forward to nice juicy bits of clam meat in white wine, and all i got were dried, burnt, black little crisps of what were clams, all shrunk into the size of half a pea. WTfreakingF.

Just so you know on a scale of 1-10 i rate it -100000. Michelangelo's back home did it so much better *drools while remembering*. But yeah. Next time we tried another place that did NOT have a big bully standing outside. Pasta was a tad better. Not the best, in fact very mediocre standard, but compared to the disastrous evening before it was way better. We ate with gusto. Oh, and the fettucine was amazingly chewy. Yum.

The next day we moved the Micchus into her new apartment. There I saw familiar face, some guy from SMDU. But he clearly ddn't recognise me. I don't expect him to anyway lol. Rented a car and then we went to Phillip Island. There we saw a koala upclose (it was crossing our path and we went as near as we could without getting into swipe-range), then we went to the penguin parade and saw the peguins! And now was baby season so there were so many fluffy, fat brown baby chicks!!! Or penguinlets, as i like to call them. So cuuuuuuute!! One small one was waddling around waiting for mommy penguin to come back and it waddled all the way up to me!! Just a short wire fence stopping it from hopping into my shoe. I was very tempted to reach out and grab the ball of brown fluff and take it home with me.

Met up with my cousins and took them out for dinner. Then met them 2 days later when we invited them to our place and cooked them dinner. I made carbonara the way it shud be made (without cream >.> *fussy*) and mom pan fried some lamb. Mmm yummy.

Then after a few days loitering around with my parents while Micchy was at orientation (we discovered Richmond, land of Ikea and various Vietnamese goodies... omg beef noodles! *slurp*) it was time for them to say byebye. We spent the day at Richmond, decided we liked one Pho shop better than another, then made our way to the Docklands where I heard from the my cosuin that a Japanese festival was being held. We got there and saw people dressed in yukata. Instantly regretted not bringing mine over to Oz. I heard the Tanko Bushi song being played in the background and quickly grabbed Micchy and we rushed towards the dancing people and joined the line. Ahh.. its been 4 years since my last Bon Odori. I can still do the Tanko Bushi with ease but then they played the Tokyo Ondou and that really tested my rusty bon-dancing skills. The third song was one I never heard of before, but it was very cute. I remember parts where it goes "pon-pon-ponchararin" with rolling hand movements. Google tells me the song is called Tsukiyo no Ponchararin (click for video! its from NHK's Okaa-san to Isshou program). Oh, and again saw the SMDU guy there, camera in tow. Then after 3 days (this morning in fact) it was my turn to bid a tearful farewell to Micchy.

So I got back this morning into my tiny tiny room. Micchy's place is 3 times bigger. I miss Melbourne, the big room space, the countless asian faces (makes me feel at home lol), the city feel, the food. I miss Micchy. But at least I dont feel homesick anymore. I had my 2 weeks of fun. Now i have to get started on real work. Hello assignments. Hello prac. Hello 2010.

You know you've eaten too much Indoemie Mi Goreng when...

... it smells like Mi Goreng.

Yup. I've been having Mi Goreng for dinner for the past few nights in a row. What dietitian??

i don't wanna cry alone

I'm back in Newcastle.

The holidays have been good, but too short. Maybe its for the best, because any longer back home would make me reaaaaallly homesick.

As if I wasnt home sick enough now as it is.

I'm busy unpacking all the stuff i got out of storage and as I unpack I realised I haven;t heard the voices of my family since Friday night when just a few days ago I was at home arguing with my mom, being loud with my sister and cracking jokes with my dad. Oh the noise and warm family laughter. And now the sudden cold silence in my room, with me alone.

I broke down crying. Heck I'm crying while typing this. Its funny how you'd think you'd get used to it after 3 years studying abroad but I still cry every time at the airport. I still cry on the plane to Australia. And I still cry when I'm alone in my room for the first week or so.

I miss arguing with my mom. I miss my house. I miss watering my basil plant. I miss waking up to loud Johhny Jr's music blaring from my sister's room. I miss chasing my neighbours cats. I miss hiding behind the door and "greeting" (read: jumping out and yelling) my dad when he gets home from work. I even miss his loud thunderous farts. I miss watching TVB dramas with them. I miss family times together. And most of all I miss their voices. 

Its getting hard to see what I'm typing through all these tears. I cant wait to see them again in 5 days. 5 freakign days. It feels like eternity.

Time to wipe away my tears and get back to cleaning my room. :(

The stress is making me feel like taking a dump. *toddles off to the toilet*