Mimpi Kahwin...

Yup. The title says it all. Not in THAT context (you perv!), but I've literally been daydreaming about getting married. *headdesk, facedesk and various other hard objects to the head area*

Maybe its the Tamworth air getting to me. Maybe its too much alcohol vapours from the Aqium hand rubs. Anyhoos in my dreams and subconcious daydreams, I see myself getting married to you. Ahh, being a Mrs van *Censored*. Thinking of lovey-dovey phrases in Dutch. Imagining how our children would look like. OMG I want a baby! (Shaddup biological time clock! Shaddup I say, damn hormones!)

And then reality hits and I think WTF am I thinking??!?? The last time I went around calling myself someone's wife was back in Form 2 in high school! And even then at least the dude knew who I was, I'd yell "Hi" to him everyday, there was some interaction between us at least!

With this one, all our interaction so far was a look shared at a dingy dim pub (not sure if he had the beer goggles going on), me adding him on Facebook, and liking one measly status of his. Har bloody har.

It must be the stress of clinicals. And the Tamworth air. If you excuse me now, I need to go eat Gouda cheese and practice my 'Ik hou van jou's.

Signs

Thank you, Big Boss of the Universe, for the sign. Co-incidence, or sign? Not sure. Either way, I didn't have any guts to do anything more than sneak peeks and smile to myself like a crazy fool.

Eye contact? Check. Brushing up against you? Check.

Smile at you? Say something? *pokes belly region* Lots of fats, lack of guts.

Please give me another sign, then I will know its not a coincidence, and then I will do something about it and not let it go to waste!!

Because he really is too damn gorgeous!!

My "love" is heavy

I want to get know you
I want to hear what your voice sounds like
Your laughter… Your angry (or drunken!) roars… Your moans of pleasure
I want to know what you enjoy doing, eating, listening to…
I want to know where you live (actually I do already), where you sleep, whom you’re sleeping with…
I want to know what your body looks like underneath those clothes… what you feel like
I want to do very, very naughty things to that body…
I want to know if you are a nice guy (you look like one!), or a douchebag
I want to know if I can still judge people based on looks
I want to know exactly how tall you are, you’re a giant by the way.
I want to know if you like girls, or guys
I want to say your name, but not in my sleep or when I’m alone

There are many things I want to do, but I cannot. Because I haven’t been given a sign (c'mon, Big Guy out there in the Universe, throw me a bone!)  to do so, I feel all my efforts will be futile. As such, I can only watch you from a distance, all my wants will remain just that. Want so badly. The Beatles had it right, its kinda driving me mad.