Pervy Old Men

Pervy, hampsap old men. Everybody has one (tale to tell, that is).

And so I was on the train to Sydney, alone, snoozing. Then I felt the train stop at a station and got jolted awake. Old man enters, sit in the seat next to the seat opposite mine. Thank god my seat was a single, or esle he wouldve sat next to me and it would be torture. The seat opposite me was occupied by my luggage.

Anyhoo, at this point he seemed nice enough, I tried to move my luggage to give him more space and he was all "no no no, its ok its ok" and tells me to leace my luggage as it is. Then he makes some smal talk and along the conversation said that he was originally from Europe. So I asked which part of Europe he's from.

Biggest. Freaking. Mistake.

He says Hamburg, and I'm like ohhh Hamburg. *mutter* Wheres that *mutter*

And he sits up and then starts touching my leg (mid-thigh) and goes "Oh you wanna go to Hamburg? I have frequent flyer tickets, you wanna go to Hamburg with me???" *pats my leg, gives me this uber hamsap grandpa look*

Me: *polite-akward smile, nervous laughter* eh-heh-heh?
Inner Me: Imma break your fingers off old man!!!!! GRRRRRRR
Old man: Yes yes, I will get a double room for us and tell people how I am travelling with my neice... oh double room meaning 2 beds not a double bed of course, not that you would want to sleep with an old uncle like me.. *leers pervertedly again*
Me: Still politely smilling and more nervous fake laughter. Inner self is spazzing at the audacity of the old man. Uncle? UNCLE??!!! Who are you kidding gramps, you're old enough to be my great grandpa.
Old man: *i think he catches on to me being creeped out* Heheh. Yes, laugh is always good. *Pats my leg again*

Throughout the journey he kept asking me things like where I live, where I'm going to live in Sydney, where I work etc etc. being totally creepy. This is not how you talk to random strangers in the train. And then he pulls out his camera phone. And the fucker attempts to take a picture of me =_=|| . I stick my hand in front of the lens to stop him. He fiddles summore with the phone and tries to showoff/ pretend to be stupid aout not knowing how to use it to some random bogan teenagers. At this point I am glad that he's no longer talking to me and I stare pointedly out the window. I really really really wanna sleep, but I have to keep my guard up. Stupid old man. He then starts rambling on about computer problems and asks the kids if they know how to fix it. Again I am not sure if he is showing off by feigning ignorance and trying to impress me that he has money as he can afford snazzy cam phones ( "I have also another one" *pulls out yet another snazzy phone from pocket*) and shop on Ebay.

I am still staring pointedly out the window, occasionally looking out the corner of my eye to make sure he's not sneaking some pics of me. He does things to attract my attention like clapping his hands and making fun of another sleeping and loudly snoring passenger. I just politely smile at his antics and keep quiet. But my inner self wants to smash my head against the window repeatedly and wishes the train ride would end. Like, now.

He gets me really irritated by asking if I had a camera. I had earlier said I did not, my phone does not have one, and I lied about not having one at all. He insists its in my bag. I say i only have books in my bag. He insists again, saying he saw a long oblong case (those were my sunglasses). I get highly irritated and say its books, i pull out a book and show him. I nearly reach snapping point when he tried reaching out for my bag, i snatch it away and hug it protectively. He backs down and says "ok ok u dont have to show me".

My patience is wearing really thin now. I think i was one step away from my stop, about 10 to 15 minutes to go, when i decide I would put my luggage near the door so that I dont get obstructed by or obstruct other people when leaving coz its a mad rush usually. So I start with my heaviest piece of luggage. I get up and reach out for it. The old man tries to pull the bag away from me.

Old Man: No no no, sit down sit down, still 10 more minutes!!
Me: *Fighting for the peice of luggage, tugging it back* I. Have. To. Put. This. Near.The.Door.
Old Man: *Tug of war-ing with me* Sit.. Sit... plenty of time. *Tries to push me back into my seat*

My patience snaps. I pull myself to my very full height (it felt like i was puffing up) and say very loudly and sternly "NO. I am going to put this near the door!". I myself am surprised by the hardness and stern-ness of my voice. The "No" sounded really firm and eventhough I was not yelling it, it resonated throughout the cabin. And it sounded like it was full of loathing and contempt, something like Lord Voldemort would say in a cold calm voice and leave all his Death Eaters shaking with shit in their pants.

I must have really shocked him because his jaw just drops and he sinks back in his seat. Not such the demure, tiny, asian female he thinks I am. I grab my luggage and stomp off. I come back and grab my second luggage peice. I go back for my laptop, and he hands it to me trying to be nice again "your computer"..

I snatch it, say thanks in a frosty way, and walk towards the exit without turning back. He does not follow. The train pulls into the station. I breathe a sigh of deep relief and all the pent up anger and frustration is let out.

Ironically, what I had for lunch following that sleepless nightmare ride was sushi train. Lol. I was so happy at the end of my meal that i was swinging my legs in joy. I also found out that the best place to have a meal alone is at a sushi train or counter style dining. Just you, and the food. No need to stare at an empty seat accross the table and worry that some random stranger will occupy it. Unless creepy old men who sit next to you at the counter start making pervy small talk and being creepy old fucks in general. Then i suggest you empty your hot green tea (its cheaper than the cold ones and usually refill is free!) onto his lap and run for the exit.