whoops

Today i punched Roger haha.

It was by accident i swear!! At first he was having a go at my height so i pretended to give him a punch. But the second time he had a go i turned around and swung my fist at him (again, another pretend punch)

Only this time it landed square in his stomach. OMG. I was super sorry okay!! This is like the second stupid accident that happened (like the time i emptied a cup of Coke over his head it was a total accident ok dont judge me i have no brains!!!!) omg wtf am i like this.

And while i was profusely apologizing i briefly touched his elbow and he yanked away like i had leprosy or something. At first I thought he was sore at me for really hitting him. Then again I wondered maybe he's so disgusted by me he can't stand me touching him.

Any other day 2 years ago I wouldve been crushed. But suprisingly I'm fine. OK so I care a teensy weensy bit,  care enough to write this post. But at least I'm making progress :).

Now, if only I can stop making stupid accidental events from happening especially those that seem on purpose... I have no maliciuous intent ok??!!?? (or is this internal subconcious evilness manifesting itself??)

sigh. i need to go and get fucked. literally. D: